The Battery Is Not the First Purchase A battery in a Dublin kitchen is a very expensive Tupperware. It sits where the cereal used to live. It has a polite grey face and a small light that means the house is Doing Energy. Visitors notice it. Uncles photograph it. Someone in the WhatsApp group writes … The Battery Is Not the First Purchase
Do Not Pump Beads Into a Wet Cavity The hopper is already in the drive. That is the sentence. It lives in kitchens. It lives in the quote that treats a cavity as a hole you fill, as if the wall were empty and dry and waiting for a weather of white beads. A damp … Do Not Pump Beads Into a Wet Cavity
Your Downlighters Have Been Chimneys Since 2009 Someone in 2009 sold Ireland a lighting fashion. Ireland, being Ireland, installed it in the landing ceiling. Four little tins in a square. Everyone went downstairs and used the word modern. Heat used a different word. Heat used chimney. Recessed downlights in a Dublin landing ceiling are little … Your Downlighters Have Been Chimneys Since 2009
The Solar Grant Is a Staircase, Not a Cheque There is a number that has moved into Irish kitchens and refuses to pay rent. €1,800. It arrives in a Facebook comment, a radio phone-in, a brother-in-law who “looked into Solar Panels Dublin” on his phone at a christening. Put panels on the roof. Cash the … The Solar Grant Is a Staircase, Not a Cheque
The Cavity Fill That Turned Into a Croissant The walls were done. That is the sentence. It lives in kitchens. It lives in the drawer with a faded certificate from a man who came in a van in 2003, drilled a polite constellation of holes in the outer leaf, pumped a weather of white beads … The Cavity Fill That Turned Into a Croissant
You Had the Attic Done in 2004. You Had a Thin Quilt. There is a sentence Dublin houses have been saying since a man in a van rolled yellow wool between the joists and left. It is said on landings, and in kitchens when someone suggests spending money on more wool, with the calm of … You Had the Attic Done in 2004. You Had a Thin Quilt.
Solar Panels Dublin on a House That Still Leaks Or: Why the Panels Heat the Street if the Attic and Walls Are Still Open There is a Saturday in May when a Dublin roof becomes a personality. Scaffolding. A van. A man on the tiles with a panel the size of a polite coffee table. … Solar Panels Dublin on a House That Still Leaks
External Wall Insulation Dublin Is Not a Paint Job Your neighbour’s house changed colour on a Tuesday. Monday it was the same tired pebble-dash it has been since 1987. Wednesday it was a calm cream, slightly fatter, slightly prouder, like it had been to a spa and come back with opinions. You thought: they painted … External Wall Insulation Dublin Is Not a Paint Job
The Cheap Tuesday Insulated the Easy Rectangle You had the attic done. That is the sentence you have been saying since October, usually while standing on the landing in socks, making the face of a person who has paid for a result and received a photograph. The landing is still cold. The bedrooms got a … The Cheap Tuesday Insulated the Easy Rectangle
The Attic Floor That Lets the Fluff Stay Fluffy You fetch the pole. You open the hatch. A rectangle of weather falls on your head. Someone in the house said the sentence — where are the decorations — and you climbed believing the box labelled XMAS was near the opening. It is not. You paid … The Attic Floor That Lets the Fluff Stay Fluffy
